


Fuck if He Knew

by kitkatsnow



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Cussing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 02:04:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20145781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitkatsnow/pseuds/kitkatsnow
Summary: Sirius considers his time in Azkaban to be justified and works to prolonge it until he hears his godson might be in trouble.





	Fuck if He Knew

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I (obviously) do not own the Harry Potter series, Sirius Black, or anything of the sort. I do, however, own plenty of notebooks with half-finished fics I keep telling myself I'll upload.
> 
> As you can probably tell from the title, "fuck" gets said quite often. If that bothers you, I'm sure you can find another fic that doesn't use it.
> 
> I cannot believe I have to say this, but I do not want this to be used on an app that makes revenue in any sort of way (e.g. ads, a subscription service).

He stared at the crack in the wall. How many days had it been? Fuck if he knew. Fuck if he cared. Everyone he knew was either dead or hated him, though he was sure some of them died hating him. He couldn’t blame them, it was his fault. He never should have let Peter be the secret keeper. He never should have left his best mate alone. He should have…

He crumpled, the look of horror on Remus’s face still haunting him, reminding him of why he was here, why he deserved to be here. Sirius choked back a sob, determined not to let the dementors see his weakness, determined to last as long as he could as payment for what he’d done.

“I’m not afraid of you!” rang out from down the hall, quite possibly from another Death Eater. There’d been a few arrested recently. “The Dark Lord will return and you’ll all be sorry then! He’s already got plays for Harry Potter!”

Sirius’s back shot straight at that name. He remembered his godson, crying in his arms the first time little Harry had fallen off his little toy broom. He promised him he’d be there to keep him safe, promised James, promised Lily. Surely Dumbledore was protecting him. He should stay here and pay for his mistake.

Sirius started at the crack in the wall. How long had it been since he’d left Harry all alone? Fuck if he knew, but fuck did he care. The more he thought, the more he realized Harry probably needed someone to come save him. Then again, given his parents, he’s probably brave, and reckless, and at least a touch clever, surely he’s got friends to save him. But he didn’t grow up with James and Lily, nor did he likely grow up with any of the Marauders. He had to go rescue Harry if only to make sure he knew how much all of them loved him. Still love him, at least the ones who are still alive. 

Sirius finally decided to escape because causing more suffering or not being able to prevent his godson suffering defeated the purpose of his stay. Would he actually manage to not just make things worse and instead help Harry? Fuck if he knew. But fuck, did he care.


End file.
